so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
