Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
