do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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