guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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