he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my shit smells like andre
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I deserve this hangover.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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