i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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