Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize