dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
