At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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