that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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