Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think people are normalizing furries
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
