Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
