Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
