you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
