We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
