I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
