Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
