i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
