woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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