he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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