i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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