Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
