Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
