I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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