He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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