you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
