we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
