I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
