if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
