nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
