You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
