the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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