What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
