it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
