She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
