Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
