She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
