ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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