There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
