Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
