the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
