She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
