wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
