Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
