brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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