highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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