So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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