I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize