I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
