If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
