Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
