My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
