Non-Jews are for practice
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
