so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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