Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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