Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
