Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
