thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
