What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How does one acquire holy water?
i now understand why vodka
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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